I’d like to see the manager, please…

<>December 15^th 2005, 2105B

<>It’s been a rather up & down last few days since I last typed anything up for this, and I really don’t know that the universe provided “adequate client satisfaction”, so to speak. It’s had its good moments, such the brilliant call I received from G & Shirlz on Monday, & the great chat I had with Ash yesterday. Getting hold of Noelle, quite by chance, on Saturday was also a very pleasant surprise, and on reflection I think it may well have been the longest non face-to-face chat we’ve ever had. There have been a few other things that I’ve had reason to smile about lately, but the three I mentioned above really stood out as highlights in an otherwise shitty week.

Mostly the source of my disenchanted outlook is work related, but there is also a personal aspect to it, and overall I’d have to say I’m not a happy camper right now. Not by a very long shot. I’m not going to go into it here, because it’s a number of different issues coming together all at the same time, and my sense of humour evidently isn’t up to the task. I’ve tried typing up a post for this blog a few times over the last couple of days, but I always ended up deleting them, as they all rapidly degenerated into an apparent attempt to see how frequently, and in what permutations, I could use the work “fuck” in a sentence. It turns out that I can be quite inventive & creative with my invective when suitably motivated, but it’s not something most people would care to read.

Let’s just say that I’m more than a little acid right now, with my job and concerning a few other things, and leave it at that. And the bottom falls out of my bullshit tolerance reservoir when I’m in this kind of mood, so things have been a little strained with a few of the other people here lately.

So, to quote Meatloaf, “Life’s a lemon, and I’d like my money back…”

And that, unfortunately, is about the limit of what I have to add to this thing right now, that I’m in a shitty mood. Or perhaps fortunately – I don’t know how much more of this “woe is me” crap I can stomach, never mind anyone else who reads it.

About all the other news I have is that it’s looking very likely that I’ll be coming home, and staying home, sometime between the 23^rd January and 17^th February or so. As always, this is subject to confirmation, and in all likelihood I’ll be putting up another post before long where I say that it looks like I’ll be coming back to Burundi after a few weeks at home, or staying on till fucking May or something, or that the dates have changed. In other words, “what’s new, pussycat?” I am heartily sick and fucking tired of goal posts that keep moving, let me tell you.

Anyway, I’m going to stop whining now. Chances are this’ll be the last update for awhile, as I’m off to Mwaro on Sunday, till the 31^st this time. Spending the next two weeks in Mwaro is something I’m really happy about, as I’ve always loved the place, and the uncomplicated peace & quiet you get to enjoy there. And it’s probably the best thing for me while I’m in a frame of mind like this. Unfortunately, by the look of it this is going to be my last rotation out to the field while I’m here, as the new battalion starts arriving from mid-January, before I’m due to deploy again, and will be taking over our operational responsibilities pretty much as they step off the plane.

I’ll try call as many people as I can before I leave town, & I’ll be sending sms’s to everyone on the day, but in case you don’t hear from me before then, I hope you all have a great festive season, and all the best for the year ahead.

<>Cheers for now though.

“And so it goes…”

<>December 10^th 2005, 0500B

I’ve been awake since around 0300, so I’m more than a little grotty and not exactly feeling full of light & joy right now, but I’m not going to complain too much about having woken up so early. In fact, if it wasn’t for the fact that I’m seriously buggered for the rest of the day I’d be quite happy to wake up so early every day, during the week at least. You see being awake at 0345, Tuesday to Saturday, has the upside to it that I get to watch the early morning repeat of Mythbusters on the Discovery Channel. It’s on in the evenings at the far more civilised hour of 2030 or so, but I never get to watch it then because everyone else wants to watch the news, or some sport or other – I imagine that you’ve all had experience of what it’s like to try watch what you want to when there’s one tv between a family of four, so imagine what it’s like when there’s one tv between 20…..

Anyway, I only started watching the program when I got here, despite having had DSTV at home for quite awhile, & I’m really sorry I’ve missed it till now as it really is a hoot. In case you don’t know what it’s about, it’s these two guys who examine urban legends & try see if they can prove or disprove them. You know, the story of the guy who blows himself to shit when he drops a cigarette into the toilet bowl after his wife has dumped all sorts of interesting chemicals into it in an attempt to kill some bug, or the guy who strapped a JATO rocket to his car to see how fast it would go, only to end up embedding the car 100ft up a cliff face. They’re really thorough in how they go about looking at these stories, & the results the produce are certainly very credible, but these guys have so much fun while they’re at it. The unholy amount of glee evident when they get to blow shit up in particular is readily apparent, & I can easily believe that these guys think they have the best job on the planet. I’m not going to suggest you get up at some un-Christian hour of the morning, but if you can catch the evening show, or tape it, then I heartily recommend that you do – it’s a barrel of laughs & one of the best programs on tv that I’ve seen in a long time. Almost makes me want to renew my DSTV subscription when I get home…..

Otherwise it’s been a quiet few days since I last updated this. One thing I’m happy about is that I was out on another escort on Thursday, & this time I made sure to take the bloody camera with me. I was in luck too, as it was pretty much a repeat of the scene I described in the previous post where I’d been so pissed that I’d not had the camera with me, so this time I got some good shots. A lot of them didn’t come out well at all, and I think I may have damaged the lens after all – either that, or I’m seriously out of practice lol – but it’s still went a long way towards restoring my enthusiasm for photography. I probably just needed a break from it for awhile, or a day when I got a reasonable number of good shots rather than the recent pattern of throwing 90% of them away because they sucked. I’ve still got a way to go to really get back into the swing of things, but the last few steps have been positive ones that I’m happy with, & I’m starting to carry the camera around with me again, rather than leaving it locked away in my footlocker. It’d be criminal to have spent so much time & money of the hobby till now to just laugh it off in the space of a month or so, so I’m really very happy that I’m regaining some of my enthusiasm for it.

Something I found a little disconcerting about the last few days was a comment made to me by one of the guys here, something that made me realise just how much of an impact these long duration deployments have on the family lives of the people who come on them. Actually, that’s not quite accurate, because it’s not so much the deployments but rather the people themselves, & the fucked up decisions & choices they make while they’re here. To be honest for the most part I’m blissfully ignorant of what most of the people I work with here get up to outside of the office, as I deliberately keep as much distance around me as possible from most other people here. Yet even with my determinedly limited involvement in other peoples lives, I have noticed that infidelity seems to be an acceptable pastime here, either within the contingent, or with the locals. And it’s not just the men either – all three married women I know here have been involved in affairs in the time they’ve been here, and one of them very enthusiastically so. Another has gone home with the express intention of divorcing her husband of 5 years so she can hook up with a guy she got involved with here – bug fucking mistake if you ask me, ‘cause this asshole is hardly what I would describe as the faithful sort himself. But you reap what you sow I guess, & the wheel has this nasty habit of turning….

Now I don’t know any of these people well, nor do I really want to get to know any of them, so for all I know maybe they all made really shitty decisions when they got married & have good reason to be looking elsewhere, but somehow I have my doubts about that – the number of people involved stretches the laws of probability beyond breaking point for that. It’s not that there’s much discretion involved either – like I say, I keep my distance for the most part, but even so it’s glaringly obvious to me – and it seems that the prevalent attitude is one of “everybody’s doing it, so it must be ok”. Either that or the thought of mutually incriminating stories is enough to keep people quiet when they get home – “sure you can burn me to my wife / husband when we get home, but you’ll go down with me.” Perhaps there’s some truth to the saying that everything is legal so long as you don’t get caught after all.

I don’t know, but the basic dishonesty inherent in so much of the behaviour going on here really bothers me. The other day I was lying in my tent, reading a book on the laptop, when I heard the guy in the tent next to me make a call home to his wife. It was fairly standard stuff, the usual “I miss you sooo much! You’re my world & I love you more than anything else” & I didn’t think anything of it. This is a guy who often speaks of his wife & kids at home, & genuinely seems to miss them. But not 5 minutes later he makes another call. Now I don’t know if he thought I was asleep, or fucking deaf or something, but he puts the call on the bloody speaker phone! I heard every word he and the woman he called said to each other, and not a fuck was it his wife. Nor would his wife have considered the conversation they had…. appropriate.

And yet this is a man who claims to love his wife, the woman he married & made significant promises of fidelity to. A man who stood in the front of a church & swore an oath in front of God that he would “love, honour, & obey”. Now I’m not a religious person, despite my upbringing & much to my mothers dismay, but the idea of deliberately breaking a promise you make in front of God strikes me as being seriously dumb – in the event that He does exist, you are in for one huge fucking smack when accounts come due.

What the fuck is wrong with these people that they can’t even seem to spell the word “integrity”, or have an idea of the meaning of self-respect? I mean, they’ve made promises to other people, either implied or explicit, and that to me makes things very simple – either keep your promises and remain faithful, or have the honesty & decency to break off the relationship.

You know what, I’m going to stop here, because all I’m doing is pissing myself off with this, & battering my already diminished faith in humanity. I swear, sometimes I think most people should be euthanized at birth, and the behaviour I see around me here serves only to vindicate that opinion.

But don’t mind me, I’m just grumpy ‘cause I’ve been up since far too early and I’m pissed off & jealous because all these other bastards are getting laid left & right, and to hell with marriage vows, but I’ve not had any nookie in a good few months now. Just doesn’t seem fair, does it? lol

I’ll be going into town this morning, so I’ll upload this then, & also hopefully get to download Skype so that I can try out the World Call service of theirs – I’ve been trying for three days now, but the bloody download keeps crashing. If I get it right, I’ll be calling as many people as I can, so hold thumbs for me.

But for now, ¡Hasta luego! everyone ;)

A missed opportunity...

December 6th 2005, 1145B

<>Sometimes I could kick my own ass, & today I'd kick hard. I've been bitching for awhile that I've not been taking photos, that I'm a little weary of pointing a lens at uncooperative locals, & that even when I want to take photos usually I can't because I'm in vehicle that's bouncing all over the bloody road. Well today, the camera gods have conspired to present me with a fantastic opportunity to get some great shots - we're stationary, the scenery is beauts, there's a large crowd of locals happy to have a camera pointed at them providing interesting subjects, & there are some fantastic shots for the taking - but do I have my camera with me? No I fucking don't, dumb bastard that I am. When the last moment tasking came in for this escort I thought about grabbing the camera at the same time as my body-armour & medical kit, but decided against it because the last few times had been a wash out so far as successful shots are concerned. I mean, it's seriously frustating to cart around a sophisticated camera, and take dozens of pictures with it, only to end up dumping all but three in the recycle bin because the shots are blurred to shit with camera shake from the moving vehicle. I don't think I even took any photos the last two times I was out, & I also somehow managed to trash the UV filter on my 55-200 lens - I think the lens is still fine at least - so I have at least something of an excuse for leaving the camera behind today. But I'm also fully cogniscant of the fact that you never know when the photo of a lifetime is going to happen right in front of you, & should always carry a camera because of that.

So yeah, right now I'd be kicking myself if I could. Still it really is a lovely day, & being here is making for a much nicer day than I would have had otherwise, being annoyed with myself not withstanding.

And not having the camera here is also providing me with the opportunity to play with another toy I treated myself to a few weeks ago. You see, I'm busy typing this post up on my phone. The other day I once again proved a sucker for shiny toys, & hardly even blinked before handing over the cash when I saw a Nokia 7710 going for a shit load less than it would have cost me in SA. Ok, so it's not something I was ever very likely to have bought back home, so it's not as much of a bargain as I'd perhaps like to suggest, but we'll just ignore that for the moment. Boys and their toys, & all that lol

Anyway, the 7710 is as much a PDA as it is a phone, with Office functionality & a pdf reader pre-loaded, which is why it appealed to me in the first place - I do a lot of traveling & it's really handy to have what amounts to a pocket sized library to keep me amused, with a battery that’ll last for more than just an hour or two of the trip. It's hardly the largest screen to read from - and 'typing' with a stylus is also proving to be a challenge lol - but you get used to it. And it sure as hell beats the snot out of twiddling your thumbs for 9 hours on a bus. Surprisingly for a Nokia it even has a 1.2mp 'camera' rather than the usual piece of shit vga thing they seem so fond of. It's still crap - Samsung & Sony-Eriksson slap Nokia silly where camera-phones are concerned - but it's pleasant surprise to have few images come out sort of ok. One point where it's pretty weak though is storage space - it uses the Nokia proprietary MM cards, the largest being 128mb, so while it has an mp3 player, you only have space for maybe 10 tracks by the time the installed apps & so on have taken their bite. It'd be neat to have one handheld device that could manage comms, reading & music all in one, but I guess that’s why I bought the i-Pod lol

I think I'm going to end this off for now though - this typing with a stylus is giving me a bitch of a 'writers cramp'. I'll carry on with this later though, when I'm back at the base & have transferred this onto the pc

Cheers till then;)

2345B

Well, it’s a “little later” now, & I finally got around to sitting down in front of the pc – after I got back from the escort at 1600 I pretty much went straight to bed, & only woke up at around 2200. Not the brightest of moves, as now I’m really going to have hassles getting to sleep. There was no way I could keep my eyes open when I got back though, as I’ve been up since around 0200 & it’s also been a long, hot & at times incredibly frustrating day – the locals put on a “stellar performance” for me today…..

Problem is, I’m busy screwing my sleeping patterns up completely, & it’s going to be a mission to get them back to normal again. It’s one of those Catch-22 things – because you wake up seriously early, you’re knackered by 1400 & can’t keep your eyes open, so you have an afternoon nap. Nothing major, just 2 hours or so, but it’s enough that you either battle to get to sleep that night, or once again wake up at some un-Christian hour the next morning. So you end up having to have an afternoon snooze the next day, which just means you can’t sleep that night..... and so on & so forth, ad nauseam.

Enough of that though. I may as well put the time to good use, seeing as I’m awake, & catch up on this a little.

It’s been, for the most part, a very pleasant few days since I got back to town & once again I’m surprisingly happy to be back in the capital. I’m not exactly crazy about deploying to Muramvya, which may have something to do with it, but yesterday in particular was not a bad day at all, on its own merits. For one, I enjoyed pretty good comms with home & managed to make a few phone calls, getting hold of Ash & Rob. With Ash I have to call her on her cell unfortunately, & with the restrictions on phone usage I have to keep the calls very short – 5 minutes, max – which sucks, but it was the first time we’d spoken in two weeks so I really enjoyed chatting with her all the same. If I get it right to install an internet connection of my own here, I’m going to look into that Skype Call service, as from what I remember the rates weren’t too bad at all. Shit loads cheaper than cellular rates from here anyway, where I’m paying around $1 a minute to call SA. I remember that Skype didn’t work too well over the i-Burst I installed at home, due to the latency issues inherent in wireless connections & it’s likely to be the same here, but it’s worth at least trying.

With Rob I score a luck, as I can call him over an internal line – the switchboards here & in SA are connected by a microwave link – so we got to chat for quite awhile. He had one very nice piece of news for me when I called, and that was that my nice shiny i-Pod has finally arrived at home :D Ok, so I’m still not going to see the damn thing before I get home in another month or two at least, but I was still very pleasantly surprised that it’d arrived. In fact I’d been getting impatient to the point where I’d been about to cancel the order with Kalahari & organise one from one of the shops here. I’d really wanted to avoid that though, because even if it’d been a bit cheaper here I’d not have had any sort of guarantee on it, unlike the one I’d ordered from Kalahari.

One funny thing is that I can’t remember ever seeing that the money for it ever came off my credit card, so maybe Kalahari sponsored me a very nice Christmas present…. I really doubt they’d forget to bill me for an order of R4k+, but one can always hope I guess lol

One other piece of pleasant news that Rob had for me is that Gazaz, who he can buy from at wholesale prices, stock the Acer notebooks so there’s a good chance I’ll be able to pick up that 8104 I’ve been looking at for even less than I thought I would. I’ve decided to be at least semi-sensible & laugh off the Eurotek that I’d really wanted, because even though it may be worth what you pay for it – the D900T really is the hot sexy bitch :P – I just cannot afford to afford it. I’ll miss a few things about the Eurotek – the 17” screen & wicked G-Force 6800 for example – but the Acer is still a damned nice piece of equipment, & a large step up from what I’ve got now. Chances are I’ll ask him to order me one on the 15^th or so, so that it’s waiting for me when I get home. Now just to sell this one so that I can afford to afford the Acer…. lol

Just to get back to comms with home, I managed to get to a net café yesterday & had chance to download my mail & also get in a decent chat with Mark and another friend of mine in the UK called Martine who I’ve not spoken to in well over a year. It’s the first time I’ve had chance to chat with Mark in quite some time, as I’ve had trouble getting my MSN to sign in the last few weeks, so I was really happy that it decided to play along for a change. One person I didn’t manage to get hold of online was Shirley, and Mark was saying that she’s stopped freelancing now and so isn’t online so much. I’m really going to miss chatting with her on the odd occasion that we’re online at the same time, but given how badly the freelancing was running her down maybe it’s not such a bad thing. I received a few texts from her today though, & she’s sent me a mail which I’m really looking forward to reading as soon as I get to download my mail again. She evidently handed in her dissertation for her honours today, which I can imagine is a huge load off her back, so I’m very happy for her & holding thumbs that she’s done really well.

Anyway, I’m going to end off here & try to get some sleep. I don’t know how successful I’m going to be, but the eyes are a little droopy at least so maybe I get lucky…

<>I’ll likely catch up on this again soon, but cheers for now ;)

A few quotes & an update…

December 3^rd 2005, 1540B

It’s amazing what you can find hidden away in the dusty corners of your hard disk. I’m busy doing a cleanup at the moment, making sure I’ve got every thing backed up properly before I do a reformat-reinstall, & I came across a collection of “quotes” by “Lazarus Long”, a character from an old Robert Heinlein novel, “Methuselah’s Children”. They’re on all sorts of topics, from sex to religion, via good social conduct, & I’m going to put a few of them down here. If you want the rest, give me a shout & I’ll mail the .doc file to you. Enjoy ;)

Always store beer in a dark place.

Delusions are often functional. A mother's opinions about her children's beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth.

Money is a powerful aphrodisiac. But flowers work almost as well.

There is only one way to console a widow. But remember the risk.

When the need arises – and it does – you must be able to shoot your own dog. Don't farm it out – that doesn't make it nicer, it makes it worse.

Sex should be friendly. Otherwise stick to mechanical toys; it's more sanitary.

You can have peace. Or you can have freedom. Don't ever count on having both at once.

Democracy is based on the assumption that a million men are wiser than one man. How's that again? I missed something.

Autocracy is based on the assumption that one man is wiser than a million men. Let's play that over again, too. Who decides?

Moving parts in rubbing contact require lubrication to avoid excessive wear. Honorifics and formal politeness provide lubrication where people rub together. Often the very young, the un-traveled, the naive, the unsophisticated, deplore these formalities as "empty," "meaningless," or "dishonest," and scorn to use them. No matter how "pure" their motives, they thereby throw sand into machinery that does not work too well at best.

A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, giver orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly.

Specialization is for insects.

Everybody lies about sex.

You live and learn. Or you don't live long.

Always tell her she is beautiful, especially if she's not.

If you are part of a society that votes, then do so. There may be no candidates and no measures you want to vote FOR... but there are certain to be ones you wish to vote AGAINST. In case of doubt, vote AGAINST. By this rule you will rarely go wrong.

If this is too blind for your taste, consult some well-meaning fool (there is always one around) and ask his advice. Then vote the other way. This enables you to be a good citizen (if such is your wish) without spending the enormous amount of time on it that truly intelligent exercise of franchise requires.

The greatest productive force is human selfishness.

Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors – and miss.

A whore should be judged by the same criteria as other professionals offering services for pay – such as dentists, lawyers, hairdressers, physicians, plumbers, et cetera. Is she professionally competent? Does she give good measure? Is she honest with her clients?

It is possible that the percentage of honest and competent whores is higher than that of plumbers and much higher than that of lawyers. And ENORMOUSLY higher than that of professors.

Do not confuse "duty" with what other people expect of you; they are utterly different. Duty is a debt you owe to yourself to fulfil obligations you have assumed voluntarily. Paying that debt can entail anything from years of patient work to instant willingness to die. Difficult it may be, but the reward is self-respect.

But there is no reward at all for doing what other people expect of you, and to do so is not merely difficult, but impossible. It is easier to deal with a footpad than it is with the leech who wants "just a few minutes of your time, please – this won't take long." Time is your total capital, and the minutes of your life are painfully few. If you allow yourself to fall into the vice of agreeing to such requests, they quickly snowball to the point where these parasites will use up a hundred percent of your time – and squawk for more!

So learn to say No – and to be rude about it when necessary.

Otherwise you will not have time to carry out your duty, nor to do your own work, and certainly no time for love and happiness. The termites will nibble away your life and leave none of it for you.

(This rule does not mean that you must not do a favour for a friend, or even a stranger. But let the choice be YOURS! Don't do it because it is "expected" of you.)

Otherwise, there’s not a whole lot of news from the last few days since I typed something up for this. It’s been a bit rough in that I’ve not been sleeping too well, & for some reason I’ve also been seriously stressed about what happens next if my contract isn’t renewed next year, but I think I’m over the worst of that now. God only knows why I decided to suddenly go into a flat spin about this – I mean, I’ve taken pro-active steps to deal with the situation should it arise, in the short term at least, & frankly they’d be doing me a favour by retrenching me, so what the fuck am I flapping about? I’m not saying there’s no cause for concern, but as far as is possible right now I’m dealing with it, so there’s no point at all in working myself into a lather over this. The human capacity for self flagellation, particularly as it applies to me personally, will never cease to amaze me….

Otherwise, pretty much all else I’ve done the last few days has been work my way through the movies Rob sent up on the external drives for me, though for the most part that was an exercise in killing time rather than something I particularly enjoyed. There’s some very good stuff on the drives – the Firefly episodes for example, which I’m saving for a really shitty day :P – but he also included such gems as Hellboy, which wasn’t an especially fulfilling experience. Still, it helped pass the time, & I’m grateful for that at least lol

I’m also busy working my way through the games he sent up, & finally got around to finishing MOH: Pacific Assault, which wasn’t bad at all. I’m busy – again – with Neverwinter Nights, something which should keep me busy for quite awhile given how many user-mods I’ve downloaded for it, and after that I have Baldurs Gate II to look forward to. Something I’m keen to find out about are the sequels to both titles that I heard rumours about before I came up here, which is another reason I miss having my own net connection – I’m a firm believer in the “Google is your friend” philosophy.

One thing I’ve enjoyed about the last few days has been the greatly improved comms with home, at least by sms. Ash in particular must have spent a bloody fortune on airtime sending text messages to me lately, but I’ve received sms’s from quite a few people lately which I’ve really enjoyed & has also done the sense of humour a lot of good.

Speaking of Ash, unless I’m off with my timing, right now she’s busy with her first paying wedding photography commission. She was a touch nervous about it, but she’s got great talent with a camera, & I gather she put in the preparation and planning time so I’m sure it’s going really well for her. I’d have loved to have been there with her, as I quite enjoyed the “freebies” she did that I tagged along to – even if three weekends of weddings in a row did get a bit much :P – but I guess there’ll be other opportunities for that in the future. My own photography is going through a serious slump phase right now, & I’ve hardly even looked at the camera in over a month now, so I could do with something like helping Ash out at a wedding to get me back into the swing of things. I’m probably just tired of pointing a lens at the Burundians – have I mentioned they’re getting seriously on my tits lately? – but I’m worried that I’m going to get out of the habit completely before too much longer if I don’t start taking photos again. The break in Jan/Feb should provide plenty of opportunities for fun with a camera though, & I hope you’re all prepared for a flash going off in your face on a regular basis while I’m home ;)

I’m going to end this off for now though, so that I can go feed my caffeine addiction. I’ll be heading back to Bujumbura tomorrow, so I’ll likely get this onto the net fairly soon & also have chance to call a few people, assuming the phone cooperates.

Cheers for now though ;)

Time goes by…

November 30^th 2005, 0930B

As of this morning I’ve been in Burundi for 21 weeks, or a very few days short of 5 months. I’ve actually been away from home a little longer than that, say another 2 weeks on top of that when you include the time spent in Pretoria on mission readiness training – aka having my time wasted – and the brief mobilisation phase at Snake Valley. On reflection it’s gone by pretty damn quickly, certainly when compared to how time seemed to drag while I was in the Congo last year. I think one thing that’s really helped the time go by has been this two week deployment schedule, as a change in scenery & company every two weeks keeps things from getting stale. Everything is broken down into small, easily manageable chunks which pass really quickly, rather than one long stretch of 6 months. I had considered asking to be stationed permanently in Bujumbura for the next 6 months, assuming the extension is granted – particularly if I can arrange a permanent connection of my own, so as to get the most out of it – but I’m having serious second thoughts about that for this reason. Also, I spend lots of money while I’m in town, mostly on Chinese food & beer, & I could do with cutting down on that lol

Speaking of the extension, unsurprisingly there’s still no news. I should hear before too much longer though, say by the end of December, because we need to take that 2 week break I’ve mentioned and still be back in Burundi before the next contingent arrives in mid to late Feb. To my mind, that means that if the extension has been granted the best time to send us home would be mid to late January so that we’re back well in good time for the new guys coming in. But this is the military we’re talking about here, an organisation which has at best a passing relationship with common sense or efficiency, so whatever might seems like the best way for something to happen is pretty much guaranteed not to happen. I’ll follow up – again – when I get back to the capital on Sunday, & see if I can’t light a fire under a few people to find out what’s going on so that I can let everyone at home know, and so that the planning for how to spend my leave can begin in earnest. I don’t know if there’ll be chance for that weekend down the coast I’m keen on, as I doubt there’ll be enough notice of when I’ll be home for bookings & so on, but I somehow doubt that finding ways to fill the days will be a problem :P

I’m actually not too concerned with what I do with my leave, but rather with who I spend it with, & so long as I get to spend as much time as possible with my friends I’ll be happy. It’s going to be damned good to see everyone again, & I’m also keen on meeting two new people, Denbeigh & Natasha. Denbeigh strikes me as being a very interesting young lady – I’m also eager to see the apparent change she’s wrought in Gareth :P – and Natasha sounds like a regular barrel of laughs, & great fun to be around.

Another reason I’m impatient to find out about the extension – or the increase, for that matter – is so that I can go ahead and order the new laptop I’ve been drooling over. It’s down to a choice between 2, the Eurotek D900T, or the Acer Travelmate 8104. The D900T is a sex-machine of note, & the one I really want, but at R23k there’s no way I can afford it if I’m not going to be staying another 6 months. The Acer is also very nice, going for about R17k, and there’s a good chance I’ll order that one regardless of extensions, as selling this one to offset the cost won’t be difficult – with a little luck, I’ll be able to gouge some poor sap here for a figure I should be ashamed of :P I’d like to sell it to Shirlz actually, as she’s expressed a keen interest, so I’m hoping the extension/increase come through so that I can let her have it for a reasonable figure.

There’s also the long zoom lens I’ve had my eye on for quite some time, a Canon 100-400mm with all the bells & whistles for about R15k, but that’s really going to depend on both the extension and the increase coming through.

That’s pretty much it for now though. I wasn’t able to get onto the net to update this the last I was in Bujumbura, but I should manage easily enough when I’m back in town next week. Cheers till then though ;)

1800B

Seven Things…

I was just reading through Noelles’ blog, which I save to disk whenever I’m online for later perusal, when I came across this & figured it might be fun to complete it myself.

So here we go : Seven Things

7 Things to do before I die

1. Get my ass into gear and actually get fit again.
2. Learn how to cook. I mean, I’m completely hopeless in a kitchen & I live on coffee, cigarettes & bloody sandwiches when left to fend for myself.

3. Acquire fiscal discipline.

4. Read all of “Paradise Lost”, which I got about halfway through when I was in my early 20’s. Heavy going, but bloody good.

5. Learn how to use a pc for more than playing games. I’ve made a start on this one at least, having gained a few Photoshop skills with the photography.

6. Sky and / or scuba diving. I’ve promised myself I’d do both on numerous occasions.

7. Actually get a motorbike license instead of doing the whole “I left it in my other pants officer, honest!” thing…

7 Things I cannot do

1. Sing. I had the voice of an angel when I was a kid – according to my old lady, at least – but now….. just don’t go there.

2. Algebra. I just never got my head around that shit, chemistry either for that matter, though managed calculus well enough (on standard grade :P)

3. Suffer those I consider to be fools with any degree of patience.
4. Put effort into anything I don’t find interesting. Hence my shitty matric….

5. Go more than 4 hours, other than when asleep, without a smoke. I mean, I get twitchy if I don’t get my fix….

6. Stop making my knuckles and my bloody neck go crack. That shit is real bad for you, but still I persist.

7. Let go of a grudge. It takes a lot to piss me off so badly, but those who’ve managed it have earned my undying enmity.

7 Things that attract me to the opposite sex
In terms of physical characteristics I have no particular preference and everything after same species & compatible body parts is subject to negotiation, so this is more what personality traits I find attractive…

1. Down to earth outlook. Real life is not a Mills & Boon novel, though it often does bear a passing resemblance to a soap opera.

2. Lack of neuroses. Some of my ex’s have been certifiable, I swear….

3. The ability to offer a suggestion when I ask “What would you like to do?” That “oh, you decide” shit drives me fucking nuts. Be prepared to drink beer in a titty bar if you ever answer me like that.

4. Sense of humour. Trust me, you’ll need it…

5. The ability to go shopping on her own. This drove Ash almost as nuts as it drove me – 15 seconds inside a shopping mall has me as tense & jumpy as a long-tailed cat in a rocking chair factory. Frustrating for all concerned, & risky for shop attendants, so if you insist on me going with you, leave me in a nearby bar & phone me when you want a hand with the bags.

6. Self worth & -confidence.

7. Honesty.

7 Things I say most often

1. “Fuck!!” in its various permutations. Actually, I swear a lot. I’m a soldier, sue me.

2. “Proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy”. Usually in reference to whiskey or coffee, but gets applied to anything that makes me smile.

3. “D’oh!” I don’t say this as much as I used to, but I’ve never shaken the habit

4. “Oops”. Often in conjunction with the above :P

5. “I mean,….”

6. “Toka!” (means…. “go away” *cough cough*), or “No, I DON’T want to buy the bloody thing!”, usually said at volume to assorted Burundians.

7. “Chics dig it”

7 Celebrity Crushes
In addition to women I want, I’m going to include a few men I want to be here…

1. Kate Beckinsale. But then, you already knew that lol

2. Jolene Blalock, from “Enterprise”. Yummy.

3. Leslie Rae Dowling. When I was 14 I fell in utter lust with this woman’s voice. Easy enough on the eye too. Staying local, Michelle Breeze also does it for me, for the same reason.

4. Angelina Jolie. One of the most sensual women around.

5. Harrison Ford. One of my earliest memories is of walking out of the movie theatre, aged about four, having watched Star Wars EP IV, and thinking Han Solo was the hot shit.

6. Christopher Walken. This man has the coolest aura of menace about him.

7. Sir Alec Guiness. Class personified. Actually, that whole generation of senior mostly British actors, such as David Niven, Peter O’Toole (the acceptance speech he did at the Oscars a few years ago was a thing of beauty), Oliver Reed & so on had a quality about them that is lacking today.

Happy Birthday G!

November 27th 2005, 0625B

Well done, bro, & I hope you’ve had a great day :D All the best for the year ahead, & may there be many more still to come. With a bit of luck I’ll actually be there next year for your birthday, but I’ll be raising a glass to your health & happiness from here tonight ;)

That’s it for now though as I’ve got to get my ass into gear & get ready for the day – I’ll be going into the capital on “town pass” today, mostly to do my washing, so I need to get organised. With a little luck I’ll get to upload this to the blog while I’m in town & also have chance to get to a phone so I can at least speak to the man on his birthday, but given how comms have been lately….
Cheers for now though ;)

1735B

That was not the most comfortable trip I’ve ever made. The trip down wasn’t too bad, just noisy because the troops in the vehicle were in high spirits at the prospect of the women & booze to be found in the capital. The trip back was a little trying though, because the troops were in really high spirits after having gotten their hands on said women & booze, so they made one hell of a racket the whole way back. Thank God for impulse purchases is all I can say – when I saw how long it was going to take for the i-Pod I’d ordered to arrive, I bought an mp3 player here to tide me over till the i-Pod gets here, & today I was especially glad that I spent the extra cash. Those little in-ear earphones are hardly the loudest, so I wasn’t quite able to drown out the noise the troops were making, but I was at least able to dilute it enough to prevent me having a psychotic episode :P
Something else that made it a bloody unpleasant trip back to Muramvya was that the weather closed in on us, and it got pretty damned cold in the back of that truck let me tell you. At least I had the foresight to take my dry-mack along this morning so I didn’t get too wet, but it didn’t help much for the freezing wind.

Anyway, other than a less than delightful trip to & from the capital, the day went well enough. It wasn’t as productive as I would have liked, and pretty much all I managed to get done was my washing, but any day that I don’t have to do my laundry by hand is a day that I come out ahead on points at least :P
I didn’t get to call G to wish him a happy birthday unfortunately, but I’ve never been able to get through to his number from here so I wasn’t too surprised. SMS’s seem to go through, so he should get the one I sent, but I’m still disappointed I didn’t get to chat with him. I did get through to Ash though, & we had quite a pleasant chat. It was only a short call, as phone access is being restricted & strictly regulated again, but it was still good to chat with her. Mostly we spoke about the birthday party she had this weekend, & it seems like it went really well so I’m bummed that I wasn’t there for it. There’s always next year I guess, though I seem to be saying that a lot lately….
On the subject of which, I’m also going miss Noelles’ birthday in January next year, but one other thing I did get right today was find a gift for her which I’m rather pleased about. I was browsing through the video store across the road from the base when I found an absolute gem of a classic zombie flick trilogy that had her name written all over it. I doubt that she’s never seen them, given her predilection for this kind of movie, but I’ve never seen any of them – never mind all three together – in a shop anywhere else before so I doubt she owns copies, so it should still be something she’ll enjoy. I’m a little wary of sending them to her via post in time for her birthday though, as the MP’s have a nasty habit of confiscating dvd’s when they check what you’re sending, but it shouldn’t be too long after her birthday that I get to give them to her.

That’s about it for today though. I’m off to make myself some coffee, & then I’m going to crawl into my sleeping bag where it’s warm & read till it’s time to cuddle up to Morphette.
Till next time then ;)

Appreciating the simple things in life…

November 25th 2005, 0805B

One thing I’m seriously looking forward to about coming home in February – second on the list after seeing my friends again – is a long hot shower. Ok, make that third on the list after a session of hot and nasty sex, but the hot shower is far more likely to happen first and will be greatly appreciated all the same. And when I say a long hot shower, I mean a loooong hot shower, or at least until the hot water runs out – I’ve only got a small geyser, & when Ash was living with me I’d fairly often only get a lukewarm shower by the time she’d finished. I’ve not had a hot shower in over four months now, and this freezing my tits off in the shower every morning shit is for the birds. We’re not far from the equator here, so it gets pretty bloody warm most days – today is an exception though – but it’s still pretty cool in the mornings, and a cold shower is still a cold shower and not a whole shit load of fun.
I’m very happy I ended up coming to Burundi early though, & went through the “small mob” at Snake Valley in Pretoria ‘cause that only lasted 3 days, & while the accommodation was basic it was comfortable enough. The poor bastards who came up in August went through the full 3 week mob phase at de Brug in Bloem, living jammed together like sardines in tents, with only cold water in the showers. And for those of you who’ve never been to Bloem before let me tell you that it’s still bloody cold in August, as I’m sure Rich (Lacuna) will attest. That the army, after over 4 years of using de Brug to mobilise & deploy personnel for external missions, still hasn’t made a plan to provide reliable hot water is reprehensible.

You know, I may be complaining about cold showers & so on, but actually they serve a useful purpose, beyond the obvious one of getting clean – they help teach you an appreciation for the basic things in life, the day to day shit that 99% of us take for granted. Flush toilets? Something else I’ve not seen in 4 months. Reliable cell comms? Add that to the list. Being able to, on a whim, call up your friends & organise to get together for lunch is something I desperately miss. Access to electricity hasn’t been too bad here – pretty damn good in the context of a deployment actually – but it’s not as if there’s a power point whenever & wherever you want, or that there’s power all the time anyway when you do have access to an outlet. It’s often off for a good 2 hours or so a day here in Muramvya for example. And hot running water is another thing I’ve very rarely experienced since I’ve been here. Running water of any sort isn’t exactly widespread for that matter. Another thing you often take for granted is food, not in terms of availability but rather choice. Being in a position to go to Spar and buy what you want to eat, and then having the choice as to when you’ll actually have a meal, unlike here where you get whatever the chefs have fit into a pot & then turned into shit at the same time every bloody day. For the most part the food isn’t too bad, & the rations we get from the UN are pretty damn good actually, but an army chef is an army chef with all that implies. We’ve had liver two days running for supper now, and just the smell of that shit turns my stomach. Given that I’ve missed lunch on both days because I’ve been busy, all I’ve eaten since Tuesday has been CornFlakes, so you can well imagine just how pleased I was when I saw what was on the menu. It’s probably also not very difficult to imagine just how much I’m looking forward to the gnocci tricalore at Spigga when I get back. And the pork chow mein from Maan Hing, or the muffins at the Mugg & Bean. I’m also really missing my regular beer while I’m here, the Firkins brew, or the Notties beer when I can get it in Durban. I mean, I quite enjoy Primus – the best thing about Burundi, actually lol – and it’s far better than the SAB lagers, but given the choice I’d be drinking my usual Milk & Honey Ale, or Pickled Pig instead. It’s a good thing that I’m only going to be at home for about two weeks in this regard – any longer & I’d be the size of a bloody house by the time my leave ended :P And likely very broke, which is more of a problem because I’ve never really struggled to lose weight.

Anyway, I’ve got to finish this off for now as work beckons. I’ll likely update this again pretty soon, but cheers till then ;)