“Management 101 : How to make a bloody decision….”

January 30^th 2006, 1845B

As is perhaps evident from the title, I have once again met with disappointment & frustration when it comes to feedback about when I’ll be given chance to go home. That I’ll be staying for up to another 6 months is 99.99% certain, but until such time as we actually receive written confirmation from Pretoria that the extension has been approved and granting permission to take 2-3 weeks leave, those of us who’ve asked to stay longer are stuck in fucking limbo. Apparently the problem is a case of one hand not knowing what the other is doing in a certain office in Pretoria, with one person saying “by all means, the guys can stay if they want to, and can take a few weeks’ leave”, but another going “Huh? First I’m hearing about it. Send me a fax with the details & I’ll get back to you”. And this is what I’m hearing damn near 3½ months after I submitted the initial statement, after repeated requests for feedback & clarity…. and people wonder why I’m frequently a cynical & disenchanted grumpy old bastard.

Anyway, said written authority could arrive as soon as tomorrow afternoon, and in which case I may make it home this week even, but I guess we all know just how likely that particular circumstance is.

Enough of the bitching though, even if I feel it’s justified for once. So far as the rest of the day goes, it’s been quite pleasant. I spent most of the morning at the net café checking prices and reviews on the lens(s) & laptop I want to buy. I think I’m going to try save a little money when it comes to the lenses though, as the 80-400 is a bit more expensive than I thought it would be, at R13k as opposed to the roughly R10k I remember it having been. I had been going to get a 28-300 and 2 x converter at the same time as the big zoom, but I think I’ll be better off by buying a 28-110 that I saw instead & saving up for the converter rather than buying it now. I’ll still be within budget if I get the converter & more expensive 28-300 lens now, but there’s no sense spending money I don’t have to. And besides, I’m going to need cash in the bank for when I get home lol

Actually, I think the 28-110 may even work out a better idea than the 28-300 would have, as not only is it about R1.5k cheaper, but it’s also an ultrasonic lens – makes for faster auto-focus – and to an extent the 28-300 is something of a waste. I mean, it makes for a very convenient carry lens with a nice wide focal range, so you don’t end up swapping lenses every 5 minutes – the bane of SLR type photography – but there are often distortion issues at the far ends of the scale with a lens like that, and it also strikes me as rather a waste to duplicate so much of the range of the 80-400 that’s the priority purchase. Better by far, I think, to get the 28-110 which is a: cheaper, b: faster focussing, and c: likely to provide better image quality. And the last is the most important, ‘cause there’s no point spending any amount of money on cameras & lenses if the photographs you take turn out crap.

So far as the notebook goes, I see that Acer have just released a new range, the 8200 series, which is very tasty, & has my name written all over it – providing it’s within my budget, that is lol I’ve asked Rob to find prices for me, & I’ll call him tomorrow to see what he’s been able to find out & let him know which one he should order. I think I’ll spend a little time at the net café before I call him though, to see if I can’t find few more comparative reviews & so on, just to make sure of the specs & features.

Something I did spend a little money on today was one of those little tablet & stylus combos’ for image editing, the same model I got Shirlz for her birthday. I’m quite keen to get my hands on it so I can start playing, & I have a feeling that it’ll really help so far as developing my Photoshop skills. Generally I only apply global adjustments to the photos I edit, because fine editing is a severe pain in the ass when using a mouse, so mostly I don’t even bother trying. The stylus should make that significantly easier, particularly when it comes to finicky selection tasks, and can only help me produce better results. Or at least I hope so, but if it turns out I’m wrong then I’m only out of pocket a few hundred rand, which I can live with.

Speaking of Shirley, we had brief chance for a chat on MSN earlier, & it was great to hear from her, but when I say “brief” I mean really brief. I think we managed about 3 sentences each before her MSN fell down & went splat, which was really frustrating. I managed to get hold of her on the phone a few minutes ago at least, & while that was also a frustrating experience given the shitty line quality, it went a lot better than the IM did this morning. Until the line went dead & I couldn’t get through again, that is. It seems she’s having serious hassles with her hay fever again, & I really hope that clears up soon.

Anyway, that’s about it for now. I’ll catch up again as soon as I have more to add to this, but for now I’m going to buy some beers & then go blow off a little steam. Chances are I’ll be giving myself a hangover to add to the frustration in the morning, but that’s the price you pay for the fun you have I guess :p

For now though, ¡Hasta luego! ;)

“I can’t get no sleep….” Part II

January 30^th 2006, 0300B

Well, this sucks. Normally I pop a double dose of immovaine before I crash at night, but even then I normally wake up around 0400 or so. It’s not that I seem to be able to have an afternoon nap lately either, so I’ve been getting a little tired & grumpy lately – nothing major, ‘cause I can manage well on 6 hours sleep a night, it’s just I don’t really like being awake so damn early every morning. There’s no Kate Beckinsale to keep me amused, you see ;)

Anyway, to get to the point. Last night I figured I was only going to take one sleeping tab instead of the usual two, & I also took it a fair bit later than is the norm, with the idea being that if two tabs aren’t really doing the job anyway – I mean, I should sleep till next fucking week sometime after a double dose – let’s see if I can get away with just taking one. Ok, so the logic of reducing the dose when it’s not working too well also kinda escapes me at the moment, but it seemed like a good idea at the time, & there’s no way in hell I’m going to swallow a triple dose.

But did my little experiment work?

Fuck, no.

And this is after popping the tab on top of swallowing a reasonable amount of beer at super, you understand. I’ve been awake since must be bloody 0200, & all that drinking the tab on top of the beer has done is give me a bloody headache. Actually, that could be dehydration come to think of it, ‘cause the beer is literally all that I had to drink all day yesterday.

But don’t mind me – it’s just early, I have a headache, and there’s no Kate Beckinsale to keep me amused, nor any bloody coffee either because some fucktard blew the damn kettle up this last week. Bastard. Of all the things adding to my general “grumpy bastard” disposition first thing in the am, the no coffee is the worst, & I’m really missing my caffeine fix right now.

But at least I’m putting the time to constructive use – I’ve already got one load of washing about to go into the tumble dryer, & as soon as that’s done I’ll be giving my sleeping bag, pillow, & body armour a trip through the spin cycle. The body armour – well, the fabric part of it anyway, not the ceramic plates – really needs it, as I never seem to remember to wash the damn thing, so it’s looking a touch “manky” by now :p

I’ll also spend a little time when the washing is sorted out putting together the next package to send home, a whole shit load more coffee – which should make Shirlz happy ;) – and the last of the little sundries I can live without here, crap that is just taking up space & weight. The hardest part about that is finding a box large & strong enough to pack the coffee & so on into, but the guy who runs the canteen is a mate, and he should be able to organise a few empty boxes for me.

Otherwise, aside from not sleeping well at all I’m in a pretty good mood, & I’ve had a pleasant enough time of it since I got back to town. The shower when I got back to base was especially welcome, after having had to make do with a “splash bath” out of a fucking bucket for the last two weeks. That’s the one thing about Mwaro I don’t enjoy – everywhere else has reasonable ablution facilities, but at Mwaro you’re stuck with making a plan with a bucket, and it’s a serious schlep.

Anyway, after the shower it was off to Chinese to eat more than is likely healthy for a body, and as usual the food was great. The restaurant here isn’t in the same league as Maan Hing, but it’s still bloody good & I really enjoy their food. I have to laugh at Hans though – we go there together often, & every time he orders the same bloody Sweet & Sour Pork without fail. No sense of adventure, that lad :p The cold beer really went down well, given that Hans & I were both taking strain with the increased humidity here in town as opposed to Mwaro. Not to put too fine a point on it, I was sweating like a cheap ho, so I don’t think that first beer – and we’re talking 750ml’s here :p – even touched sides lol

After Chinese it was off the net café to catch up on the email, blogs, & so on, though I’ve not had chance to look at them yet. I also managed to get in a quick look at the Pond, & also a chat with Wes which I really enjoyed. I gather he’s not too well right now, a stomach bug of some sort, & I hope that clears up soon as it’s evidently rather uncomfortable for him. I should probably be careful about chatting to Wes though, as he has this knack for pointing out nice photography stuff to me, which promptly has me struggling to keep the credit card in the pocket lol

Last night it was the new Canon D5 he showed me, & I have to say it’s bloody nice…… but R25K!!! Actually, I’m going to hold off on upgrading the camera for quite awhile I think – lenses are a different story though lol – until Canon bring out a 20D equivalent in the 12MP+ range, and I also want to see what happens with the fovean sensor technology first. That looks really exciting, & it looks to be the way forward in terms of addressing the colour accuracy issues inherent in digital cameras at the mo – the way CCD & CMOS sensors work is that each photosite on the sensor only records one colour, red, blue, or green, and then software fills in the gaps through interpolation and educated guesswork. It does a pretty good job, but it’s far from perfect, & this is one area that film still has digital solidly beaten in. The new fovean sensors that are coming out look to fix that problem though, as each site on the sensor records all colours, & colour reproduction is evidently far more accurate than with the CCD & CMOS sensors. It’s a technology that comes with its own problems though, so I think I’ll wait awhile to see how it develops before I upgrade. Besides, I’ve still got a long way to go towards knowing what I’m doing with the 20D, so it only makes sense to learn how to use that properly first lol

Another person I had a chat with on MSN last night is a guy called Riddick, though I have absolutely no idea who this person is, & in fact I’m rather interested to know where he got my msn id from……. on reflection his story that he got it from the NAG forums just doesn’t ring true, ‘cause I don’t think I’ve ever posted on NAG in its new incarnation, & I certainly never added my MSN details to my profile there. I shall perhaps have to take a look at NAG later & see just what’s going on there.

Enough of that though. Probably the highlight of yesterday was getting chance to call Ash after I got back from the net café, & it really was good to hear from her again. I also tried to get hold of Shirlz & G last night, but couldn’t get through & unfortunately ran out of time. I’ll have another go tonight though, with hopefully better results.

I gather Ash must have been in a somewhat “cheeky” mood yesterday though, as she sent me a rather unexpected sms just as I got back to town, & I see another arrived last night after I crashed lol We had a good laugh about it on the phone though, & I really enjoyed chatting with her. It goes without saying that I’m really looking forward to seeing her again, & I’m really happy that we’re back to a close, happy and comfortable friendship, especially given how much hurt & anger there was floating around when I came up here. Where to from here still remains to be seen, and will require a great deal of careful thought, but it really means a great deal to me that we’re such good friends again.

Ross, however…… let’s just say my opinion of that little boy remains unfavourable, and leave it there.

Anyway, that’s about it for now, & it’s time to go check on my washing and sort out that parcel. I’ll be going through to the HQ today, even if I am on leave, on what will likely prove to be a fruitless search for info about my extension – I’m expecting “we’re still waiting for a reply from Pretoria”, like fucking always. But maybe somebody has pulled their thumb from up their ass and finally made a decision, in which case I’ll let everyone know what’s happening asap. After that I’ll be heading back to the net café so that I can get as much of my admin done now as possible, so that if I am only going to be home for a few weeks, I won’t waste time on little shit that I can just as easily do here. I’ll update the blog while I’m at it, & also hopefully get chance to chat with a few people on MSN / YIM.

Till next time though ;)

Killing time….

January 27^th 2006, 1630B

I’m having one of those funny “off” days today. Not really a bad day, more apathetic & irritable than anything. Chances are that it’s just a touch of cabin fever, & I just need a change of scenery to sort me out, so it’s probably a good thing I’ll be heading back to town on Sunday. Not that I’m looking forward to spending any length of time in the capital, you understand – just one or two days is enough. Just long enough to do my washing, make a few calls, and get to a net connection so that I can check my mail, & see what my friends have added to their blogs in the last 2 weeks. I’m especially looking forward to a little contact wit home, as it’s been really quiet in the respect the last few days, & I’ve been starting to feel a little isolated & cut-off. I guess it is the end of the month, & people are running low on airtime, but I’ve really missed the contact all the same.

And one other thing I really need to do when I get back to town is update this bloody McAfee anti-virus, because if the bloody reminder to do so pops up one more fucking time, I’m going to break something. I mean, I appreciate that it reminds me that my definitions are out of date, but to do so 5 times a bloody day? And that it forces Windows to task-switch away from what I’m busy with at the time is something that really gets on my tits. It’s become as intrusive & unwelcome as a bloody prostrate examination.

But this is starting to sound suspiciously like a bitching session, so it’s probably an idea to change the subject. It’s been a pleasant enough last few days since I updated this, if just that little bit too quiet for my liking. Of course that makes it rather tricky to actually come up with anything to say here lol Mostly I’ve spent the last few days reading, playing around with a few old photos in Photoshop, & trying to keep myself amused so that the time doesn’t drag so much.

The last is proving to be anything but easy to accomplish at the moment, given that I’m really excited at the prospect of getting home soon. There’s still no definite news as to when or for how long I’ll be home but, one way or the other, it’s at least sooner rather than later now. And I know that I sound like a broken record with this by now, but if I’m going to be staying on for that extra six months, then they have to give me leave in the very near future, so I should get some clarity next week when I’m back in the capital.

You never know, but maybe the next time I update this blog it’ll be from my connection at home. I doubt it, but I’ll let people know what’s happening as soon as possible. Till then, I guess I’ll just have to take it one day at a time – I’ve survived the last 209, so a few more aren’t going to kill me.

It just feels like it will lol

Anyway, that’s about the limit of what I can come up with right now, & it’s also time for supper so I’ll be finishing this off for now. Have a great weekend everyone, & I’ll catch up with you again soon.

Cheers for now though ;)

At the end of the day….

January 23^rd 2006, 2020B

I really doubt that this is going to be a very long post, given that I’m already in bed, & the sleepy drugs are starting to do their groovy thing. Besides, I typed up an entry for this only yesterday, & it’s not that there’s much of anything going on right now to talk about here :p

About all of real interest that happened today is there was a brief earth tremor at around lunchtime. It’s funny how our reaction to something like that is often out of all proportion to the event itself though. I mean, the tremor today was barely noticeable, but when it happened, Hans – the other medic here with me - & I stopped chatting dead in mid-sentence and gave each other one of those “Uh oh…..did you feel that too?” looks that lasted a whole shit load longer than the tremor itself did. I imagine you know what I mean, when you have that “waiting for the other shoe to drop” feeling, where you hold your breath & wonder if the universe is about to drop on top of you that always seems funny in retrospect.

Then again sometimes the other shoe does drop, with tragic consequences, so perhaps a “disproportionate” reaction isn’t that strange after all. But what I really find remarkable about these little tremors we feel from time to time here in Burundi, is that it’s apparently the volcano at Goma in the eastern DRC that’s getting restless again which is causing them. About as best as I can figure from the admittedly low-detail maps I have access to, Goma is around 400km from where I am now, and the amount of force required for me to feel something that happened so far away must be mind-boggling. I doubt it was much of a tremor in Goma itself either, but that I felt even as little of it as I did over that distance makes me happy that I’m not any closer. At least the military evidently has someone in Goma studying the volcano, so there should be enough warning if the sucker decides to blow that we’ll be able to safely evacuate our personnel from there – there’s a small contingent of SANDF firefighters, cargo handlers, & medics stationed at the airport in Goma. Or at least stationed at what’s left of the airport at Goma after the last eruption :p

The fact that the SANDF actually has a vulcanologist of all things in service, is a source of some amusement to me I must confess :p I can just see the meeting, where some UN bigwig is asking for troops for a peacekeeping mission, and the reply being “Sorry, we haven’t enough troops or tanks to do the mission like you’ve asked, but we do have a spare vulcanologist you can use….”

Anyway, other than the brief moment of worry brought on by the restless ground, pretty much all I’ve done with my day is play a little Desert Combat Extended – a few more maps & different models compared to the regular DC, but maybe worth a look at the next lan – and do a fair bit of reading. The game was fun enough, but the reading I thoroughly enjoyed, having decided on a whim this afternoon that I was going to read through all the blogs that I’ve saved on the pc since I’ve been here. I only made it through Gareth F’s & Noelle’s today, but it was fantastic to read their blogs again, from July last year till now, and see what’s been going on in their lives since I’ve been away. BTW, Gareth, you really need to update you blog more frequently man :p

Hans, the other guy here with me, probably thinks I’m in need of professional help right now though, as while I was reading them I’d frequently burst out laughing at something either Gareth or Noelle had written – in particular, Noelle’s description of how her perception of He-Man has evidently changed over the years had me in tears I was laughing so hard. “Ultimate gay fantasy” indeed lol And having read through Gareths’ blog again, and being reminded of how excited he was to have met Denbeigh, just makes me want to meet this interesting young lady all the more.

Tomorrow will likely also be spent reading through some of the blogs I have saved, most likely Shirlz’ & Ash’s, both of which are fairly large – Ash’s in particular – and should keep me going for the whole day. One thing I’ve noticed about the other blogs that I read, is that they all make good use of images – Noelle’s Girlz’nGames strip and pics of the gang, & also Ash’s photos for example – to bring their blogs “to life”, and make them more interesting & engaging for the reader. That’s something I’d love to do myself in this, but with my net access being what it is…. Maybe when I get home, & have access to a decent connection all of my own, I’ll go back through this blog and add a few photos & so on to old posts where appropriate, as well as hopefully to any new posts from then on.

One downside to going through these blogs today has been that it’s really brought home to me just how long I’ve been away, how much I’ve missed in that time, and how much I’ve resented that lost time with my friends. It wasn’t an especially cheerful realisation I must admit, but I’m consoling myself with the thought that I have an incredible group of friends, & that it won’t be too much longer before I get to see everyone again.

And on that note, I’m going to have to bid you all goodnight, as the immovaine is making it hard to focus, & sentence construction is also proving rather challenging lol

Till next time then ;)

“Still haven’t found what I’m looking for…..”

January 22^nd 2006, 2010B

If it wasn’t for the hangover, this would’ve been a very pleasant day. Then again, I guess I shouldn’t be surprised I felt rough as a bears ass today, given that after we ran out of beer last night I opened the box of cheap-shit Chateau Cardboard the mess handed out the other day. The beer on its own would’ve been fine – I mean, you really have to work at it for Primus to give you a hangover – but the wine was most certainly a Bad Idea. Every sport has its injuries I guess, & it was an enjoyable evening spent making the world go blurry at the edges & watching old Indiana Jones movies, so I really shouldn’t complain. I just wish I didn’t wake up feeling so damned…. ”affectionate” when I’m hungover – that just strikes me as mean, given there’s a distinct shortage of young ladies to be affectionate with here, & I doubt I’d feel well enough to manage even if there was lol I reckon it’s proof that sometimes God has a nasty sense of humour lol

But as I say, other than the hangover, it’s been a rather enjoyable day. Best of all I think was the call I got from Shirlz this morning. I’ve not had much in the way of contact from home the last few days, so hearing from Shirley was a very pleasant surprise, & very welcome. Given the hangover, I don’t know that I was really capable of intelligent conversation though, & she seems to have a knack for calling me when I’m in a state of diminished capacity, either doped to the gills or drunk lol Her dad may not be too happy when the phone bill arrives though, as we chatted for the best part of 20 minutes, & that can’t come cheap, not at the larcenous rates bloody Telkom charge.

Actually, mention of her dad reminds me that she said that he took G up for a flip in the micro-light today, which sounds pretty damned cool & I hope Gareth had a great time. When I get home I’ll have to see if I can’t talk her father into taking me up, so that I can try my hand at a little aerial photography. It’ll also be interesting to contrast the experience of flying in a micro-light as opposed to the helicopters I’m used to. I’ll also have to see if I can’t get it right to arrange a flip in a glider one of these days. It’s a little strange that I’ve never done that actually, as a guy I know in Howick flies gliders. I’ve known Bill for over 20 years, & he’s offered to take me up a few times, but I’ve never been able to take him up on the offer, so it’s definitely something else to add to the “to-do” list for when I get home.

That “to-do” list is starting to get a little long though, particularly if I’m only going to be home for 2 – 3 weeks, as it’s two pages long already, & still growing. At least a lot of what’s on the list is stuff I’ll need to buy if I’ll be coming back here, & I’ll get that sorted out in one trip to the supermarket, & a fair bit of the rest is stuff that I can get done online or by phone – my tax & professional registration, for example – so getting everything done that’s on the list shouldn’t eat too much into the time at home that I’ll have.

So far as social activities go, I’ve not put down too many ideas so far, & I have a feeling we’ll be making it up as we go along. There are a few things I’d really like to do though, such as dinner at Spigga & Maan Hing with as many people as can make it, and also the breakfast buffet at Joe Cools on at least one weekend. Something else that I’m keen to do, if there’s opportunity & enough people are interested, is go on that train-ride up to Notties that Paul, Noelle, & Mark did last year, as that looks to be a very pleasant way to spend a day.

I’d also like to fit in a LAN on one weekend if possible, which should make Paul a happy man – he complained in an sms the other day that he had no-one to play games with lol And I must admit there’s an ulterior motive for holding a LAN – in addition to having loads of fun with my friends, I also fully intend to raid everybody’s hard drives for music, movies, books, porn, & so on for stuff to keep me amused for another 6 months if I end up coming back here :p

But if anyone reading this has any suggestions for things to do for while I’m home, please feel free to let me know – the more ideas & suggestions the merrier ;)

Now if only someone would make a bloody decision as to whether I’ll be getting the bloody extension or not, & then let me know what’s going on so that I can plan my life…

Otherwise, there’s no real news from the last few days since I typed anything up for this. With the deployment coming to an end, for this contingent at least, there’s a definite “min dae” attitude doing the rounds, with people doing as little as they can get away with, so there’s not much happening in terms of work. It’s usually at this point of a deployment that the foolishness & drinking start to get out of hand though, and you end up with a fair number of people getting hurt in stupid accidents or digging themselves into shit, so this can be a busy period for the MPs’ and the medics. For example, the week before I came out to Mwaro there were I think 2 vehicle accidents – none serious fortunately – and also one clown who thought it’d be a bright idea to try climb over the fence when he got back to base late for roll call. Actually, I’m sure there are plenty others who climb the fence after curfew, but I guess the others are just a little more careful of the razor wire than this guy was, & he sliced his arm up pretty badly when he slipped. Thing is, the cheeky bastard is insisting that 2 of the locals stabbed him when he was on his way back to the base, despite his injuries obviously having come from a dance with the razor wire. I mean, I really don’t like the Burundians – I think I may have mentioned that previously :p – but there’s no need to go falsely accusing them of shit like this, particularly when it was your own stupid fault you got hurt doing something you knew you shouldn’t have.

It’s been ok for that here in Mwaro, so far at least, & while the guys have been drinking quite a bit – myself included actually lol – the only “trouble” has been a little extra noise late at night, & the platoon sergeant put a quick stop to that. It’ll likely be a different story back in the capital though, so I’m glad that I’ll be on “leave” after this deployment to Mwaro, & won’t have to do after hours standbys & so on. I call it “leave” in that you can’t leave town, & still have to attend roll-call so there’s a limit to how much you can enjoy yourself, but at least you’re officially off duty so it’s better than nothing.

Anyway, I think I’m going to end this off for now as my eyelids are getting real droopy all of a sudden. I’ll be chasing my boss to follow up about my extension in the am, & if I hear anything I’ll pass it along asap. Till then, keep well everyone, & I hope you all have a great week ahead.

Cheers for now though;)

Here we go again…..

January 18^th 2006, 2025B

It really doesn’t feel like it’s only been four days since I updated this. Ok, so today has been a long & at times rather trying day which might be colouring my perceptions, but it really feels like it was last week sometime that I sat down with this last, and not just the other day. Then again, I guess Sunday would actually be “last week”, but you know what I mean lol

I guess it’s that countdown feeling that’s stretching things out & making the days seem longer, & it doesn’t help that it looks like the dates have gone and changed again so that I don’t actually know how long I have left to go here. I guess I should have kept my big mouth shut in that last post, & on the phone to people, ‘cause sure as shit I went and jinxed things. You know what, I think I’m going to hold off telling people when I’ll be home, & for how long, until I’m actually at home, in my flat, in bloody Durban.

At least that way, when I call my friends & say “Hey, let’s get together, drink more than is healthy, & catch up a little of the last 6 months,” I’ll be fairly certain that I won’t have to call back later and say “Yeah, about that date for drinks…….I’m really sorry, but can I take a rain-check till the army makes up its fucking mind what it’s doing with me?”

And as tired as I am of continually having to disappoint my friends, I’m even more tired of not knowing what the putty is happening myself. This uncertainty & inability to plan, the bloody goal-posts that keep moving, is getting right on my tits, let me tell you. And let’s just not go anywhere near whether or not I’ll be staying another 6 months either.

But enough of that. Otherwise things are going quite well, & I’m thoroughly enjoying being back in Mwaro. The weather here has been beautiful the last few days, if bloody cold at night, & the greatly diminished “asshole quotient” when compared to Bujumbura has done wonders for my blood pressure. I spent most of today in the capital though, having a raging argument with the HR people about my outstanding allowances from last year, which I really could have done without. But let’s just say that nobody was happy with the outcome of that little discussion, & leave it at that – I really don’t feel like getting all pissed off again by going into it here. It was a lovely day for a drive, the change in routine was welcome, and I also had chance for a quick chat with Rob, so at least it wasn’t an entirely wasted day.

Mostly I’ve spent my time reading, or working my way through Baldur’s Gate 2 again for about the 3^rd time this month – I keep getting to a point about half way through, & then deciding to try things a different way. It’d be frustrating if it wasn’t for the fact that there’s so much depth & scope to that game, & it’s helping the time pass, so I’m not going to complain. It’ll still be good to get home though, so that I can get my hands on all the new software that I’ve ordered over the last few months. It’s probably going to be awhile after I get home before I spend any time in front of a pc though, as I’ve got a lot of catching up to do with my friends first lol

And trust me when I say that I really can’t wait to see everyone again, that I’ve been away too long by far.

Speaking of catching up with friends, someone I’m very keen on getting in touch with is Nicole, as I’ve not heard from her since Christmas & I’m starting to get a little worried about it. Chances are it’s just the cell operator here losing messages & so on again, but I’ll be a lot happier when I’ve heard from her & know that she’s well.

Anyway, I’m going to have to end this off for now though, as the sleepy drugs are starting to kick in & the world is getting just a little blurry. I’ll try catch up again soon, but cheers for now ;)

And the countdown begins….

January 14^th 2005, 0855B

Well, yesterday I finally received some kind of “almost” definite word regarding when I’ll be home, & for how long. Chances are I’ve probably jinxed things by letting people know – Murphy is a cast-iron bastard, after all :p – and mentioning it here isn’t likely to help, but as of lunchtime yesterday there are enough personnel available to fully relieve this contingent, & there is no need to accept any applications for extensions. As such, come 3^rd March I’ll be getting on a plane & leaving Burundi in my wake.

There is still a chance that this might change – there’s a large difference between names on a piece of paper, & actual bodies arriving in the mission area after all, and if there’s a personnel shortage then I might still end up staying for an extra 6 months. But right now it looks very likely that I’ll be home, and staying home, at some obscenely early hour on the morning of 5^th March, or about 50 days from now.

So how do I feel about this? Succinctly put, I cannot fucking wait to get home :D

Sure, I’m going to miss the money the extra 6 months here would have brought in, but not a damn am I going to miss this place, or the locals. I have to be honest, & say that I detest 99% of the Burundians I’ve encountered, and my opinion of Bujumbura is such that a carpet-bombing campaign could only serve to improve the place.

Conversely I have already missed, & significantly so, my friends and my life, and the thought of getting back to them again in a few short weeks is one that puts a HUGE fucking smile on my dial :D

Like I say, I’ll miss the money, especially if I am out of a job come September, & I’m disappointed that I’m going to have to hold off on upgrading the notebook or buying that tasty zoom lens I’ve wanted for so long, but all of that is less than nothing when weighed against getting to spend time again with those people who mean the most to me. Hell, I’ll even take the time to pop up to Howick to see my old lady for a day or two when I get home – I just need to time it so that my sister ain’t around :p

But like I say, this still might change, & perversely the more excited at the prospect I become, the more likely it is that there will be a last moment requirement for additional personnel in the mission area, or that this deployment will be extended to May or something – we’re still hearing rumblings about that, even now. I certainly bloody hope not, & needless to say I will not be at all happy should that come to pass, but I’ll keep everyone informed as to what happens. Hold thumbs for me, ok? ;)

Otherwise, there’s not a whole shit load of news from this side. Work continues apace, with the same shit day in & day out. Work’s gone pretty well for the most part, though I’m busy with an exchange of snotty letters with the HR department at the moment, about those outstanding allowances from August. That’s one battle I don’t honestly expect to win though, at least not in terms of ever seeing the cash. Right now, I’m just aiming for the satisfaction inherent in bringing official & high level attention to the fact that they didn’t do their bloody jobs, & that in my opinion they have lied to me every single time I’ve asked for feedback. Actually, I’m having lots of fun seeing just how obnoxious I can be in a letter whilst maintaining an illusion of civility :p

I’ll be out of town for two weeks from tomorrow – I’m deploying to Mwaro again, possibly the last deployment we do before we come home – so it’ll be interesting to see what kind of response to my last little “love note” they come up with in the meantime.

I’m really happy to be deploying to Mwaro again, as I’ve always enjoyed the place, & it’s probably the only thing about Burundi that I’ll actually miss when I get home. It really is beautiful there, peaceful & quiet, and I’m always going to have good memories of the place. I’ll be a little out of touch while I’m there, as per usual, but I’ll do my best to call as many people as possible before I leave tomorrow morning, & I’ll keep in contact by sms till the airtime runs out. For now though, keep well everyone, & I’m really looking forward to seeing you all again in a few weeks :D

Cheers till then ;)

And in other news…..

Actually, there isn’t too much really. We’re still a little busy here at the office, with half the section being on leave, but nowhere near as much so as last week. In fact, today is a local public holiday so we have the day off. It looks like the rest of the week will also be a little slower than last week, but there should still be enough work to keep me amused.

It’s actually been a fairly productive week for me so far as the office goes, & I managed to sort out that issue with my allowances I complained about in the last post. My “snotty letter writing skills” must have improved some since the last time I tried them out, because it only took the HR section 2 days to sort things out after my little missive of “thanks and appreciation” – yes, that would be sarcasm you detect there :p – landed on their desks. It’ll be interesting to see if they’ve managed to fix things in time for me to get my full salary on the 13^th, but if not at least I know I’ll be getting a fat bastard of a paycheck in February :)

You know, I might just make a habit of writing snotty letters actually, because God knows I’m sick & tired of being inconvenienced because other bastards haven’t done their bloody job. The next statement has already been submitted actually, about that UN cash allowance I was supposed to get in August and haven’t seen a cent of more than 5 months later, and I’ll likely typing up a third statement on its way on Thursday morning. I’ve been promised definite feedback regarding my extension for bloody months now, and tomorrow is the deadline – Joint Ops and the Mobile Formation sit down in Pretoria tomorrow to finalise the namelist for the next rotation, and if my name isn’t on it I’m going to be demanding an explanation as to why.

But enough of that – it’s starting to sound like a bitching session, & I’m really trying to avoid that. The happy thoughts are still doing remarkably well, & my outlook the last few days is also quite positive and upbeat. I’ve had really good comms with home the last few days, which has helped, & I managed to get hold of Rob, Ash, Shirlz, & my old lady in Howick, all of whom I really enjoyed catching up with. Shirlz in particular I was happy to get hold of, as I’d not heard from her since mid December, depite repeated attempts from both sides.

I did hit a bit of a dip when my old lady told me that her Jack Russel was attacked & killed by the dogs from the house next door though. I’m really going to miss Rusty, because he was a typical Jack Russel – all balls, no brain, & a whole shit load of character – and I’d become quite fond of him over the years.

My external hard drives also blew up on me yesterday – or the power supply for them at least, but the result is the same – which was rather annoying, but I should be able to get that sorted out in a few weeks at most so it’s not too big an issue. Or at least I hope the power supply is the only problem, because if the drives are also toast I’ll have lost over half the photographs I’ve taken since I’ve been here. The rest of the stuff on the drives is easily replaceable, so I’m really not fussed about that, but if I’ve lost the photographs I’ll be seriously pissed.

I still have all my books & music on the notebook hard disk, and some stuff on the DVD’s I brought with me – and especially the DVD Noelle & Paul sent, so thanks again guys :D – so I’ll be able to keep myself amused at least until I get home & can attempt a data recovery. And if I can manage to get my hands on a no-cd crack for Baldurs Gate II today I’ll be sorted, because I’m about a third of the way through it atm, just hitting my stride, & I really don’t want to wait a few weeks to carry on playing lol

Anyway, that’s about it for now and I’m going to end this off so that I can go get some breakfast – cigarettes & coffee ;) I’ll be heading into town a little later, after I’ve made a few calls – hopefully I manage to get through to Noelle this time so I can wish her a happy birthday, but it’d be a first from here – so I should get this uploaded then.

Ciao for now though ;)

Happy Birthday, Noelle!

January 10^th 2006, 0635B

This time it was my turn to send a message at an early hour – her sms to wish me a Merry Christmas at 0130 is going to take some beating though lol – but in case it vanished into the void, Congratulations, my friend, & I hope you really have a fantastic day of it today :D

All the best for the year ahead, & I’m holding thumbs it’ll be a very successful year for you. I’m sorry I can’t be there in person to buy you a drink – or many drinks, if that’s your preference ;) – and wish you a happy birthday, but I’ll hopefully be able to make that up to you before too much longer.

Into the New Year….

January 6th 2006, 1630B

Ok, so New Years was actually the best part of a week ago, but late is better than never I guess. In my defence it’s been a little busy since I got back to town – half the guys are on leave, so the rest of us have to take up the slack – so I’ve not really had chance to sit down & type anything up for this, but it’s weekend now so I have the time.

So far, 2006 has gone pretty well, & I’m quite positive about the rest of the year. Staying an extra few days in Mwaro – we were supposed to return to Bujumbura on Sat 31st, but eventually only came back on Tues 3rd due to problems with transport – started things off on a positive note, and it’s helped me maintain my cheerful disposition since I’ve been back in town.
New Years Eve itself wasn’t too bad here, & was a far quieter affair in Mwaro than it would have been here in town, which I’m really glad about as my sense of humour at the time really wasn’t up to dealing with large numbers of drunk & noisy idiots. I gather from Noelles’ blog that most of my friends ended at the party held at Marks place, & it seems a great time was had by all, which I’m happy about. Paul, however, may well have felt rather tender for the most of 1st January, but I guess that’s one definition of a successful New Years Eve :p
I have an idea as to how he felt though, having wrapped myself around a few bottles of wine which is never a good thing for me to do – wine is most certainly not my friend lol – and I was in bed by 2300 or so. I’m not sorry that I didn’t see in the New Year, as it’s something I’ve not been fussed about in a long time – I’ve ended up working most New Years’, this year being a case in point, & there’s not a whole lot of point in getting excited about it if you can’t spend it with the people you actually want to.

As I said earlier, this year is going quite well so far, even if it is far too early to say how things are going to turn out. There’s a ridiculous amount of bullshit going on at the office though, & the internal politics are way out of hand again – to the point where people are laying complaints & charges against each other for the most pathetic crap you can imagine – but I think it’s mostly “end of deployment frustration” making itself known, & I’m making a concerted effort to avoid it as much as possible. Some of it does affect me directly though, such as the security officer taking the details of all personnel here at the base in town, & going around to all the local shops to ascertain what debts people have. I understand the reasoning behind it, that people have been returning to SA without settling their accounts, which reflects badly on the SANDF & UN, and this is an attempt to minimise that as much as possible. But so far as I’m concerned the private financial arrangements between myself & some shopkeeper represent privileged personal information, and what I do with my salary has sweet fuck all to do with the military or the UN, and I see this as a gross invasion of my privacy.
Something else that rather annoyed me was that this morning I found out that my financial authority to be in Burundi expired after I’d been in the country for 6 months, so my allowances have been stopped with effect January 1st. It’s nothing too serious to sort out – it takes a simple computer action to fix – but it’s offensive in that if the army was prepared to significantly disrupt my life by bringing me here the best part of two months early, then the least the bastards could have done was make sure that all the administration was in place. It’s also a little worrying because of the timing, in that salary administration closes on the 10th of each month, so if HR drags its feet even in the slightest, I won’t see any allowances this month at all, either in my account or the “cash in hand” one we get. I’ll manage, in that my credit card has never looked as good as it does right now, so if I need money I can get my hands on it. But I’ve got plans for that money, and day to day expenses because the army fucked up are not among them. That I’ll get the allowances is a given, but if it isn’t sorted out now, then I’ll likely end up waiting a good three months before I see the outstanding amount.

Enough of that though – I promised myself I was going to keep the bitching to a minimum in this for a change. In fact, something that has been surprising is that my sense of humour has survived the aggravation pretty much intact, & I’ve actually been quite upbeat the last few days. Like I said in the last post, this festive season was even less festive for me than it usually is, but I seem to have shaken off the worst of the fugue I’ve been in for so much of the last 6 months. Maybe it’s because the last few days have also had some really good points to them, but I imagine that there’s a certain amount of “light at the end of the tunnel” going on right now. I mean, I know that one way or another in a few weeks I’ll be at home, and will get to spend at least some time with the people I’ve missed so much since I’ve been here. Sure, the date for the end of the mission keeps changing, and I still don’t know if my extension has been granted, so I can’t know for sure when, or for how long, I’ll be home, but I do know that it won’t be too much longer.

So far as the good things about the last few days is concerned, probably the highlights so far have been having chance to chat to a few people on the phone since I’ve been back in town – I just cannot get through to G or Shirlz though, which is annoying – and also the brilliant surprise from Noelle I had waiting for me. The last time we chatted on MSN, she mentioned she was going to be sending me a “little something”, hopefully in time for Christmas. To be honest, I’d actually forgotten about it – have I mentioned that I’ve been a little…..”distracted” lately? :p – so you can imagine how pleased I was when I was received what she’d sent. It turns out that the “little something” was a card with a really thoughtful message in it, & also a dvd full of photographs, little video clips, a few movies, books, & so forth. There’s more than enough on the disc to keep me busy and entertained for weeks, and that she took the time & effort to put it together for me is really appreciated – I can’t say a big enough thank you. I think I may detect Pauls’ hand in the one rather……interesting Japanese comic that’s on the disc – Noelles’ sense of humour can be nasty at times, but I don’t know about that nasty lol – but I had a damn good laugh at it all the same. I sent an sms as soon as I received the disc, but I don’t know if she got it as the report came back as failed, so once again thank you VERY much, Noelle & Paul. I owe you big time for when I get home ;)

Something else that has helped has been that the last few days have been the busiest I’ve had since I got to Burundi. With half of the section being on leave at the moment, I’ve had something to do every day since I’ve been in town, & it’s made for a pleasant change. It may only be for a few hours a day, but that’s far better than the few hours actual work a week that has been the norm up until now. Much more of this and I may even develop a work ethic :p
Being comparatively so busy has also provided opportunity to take quite a few photos lately, especially on Wednesday, and I’ve had a pleasantly surprising number of them come out quite well, something that always makes me smile. There is, however, a downside to my renewed enthusiasm for photography – I’m once again having to struggle against the temptation to splash out large sums of money on lenses lol Up till now I’d been able to talk myself into waiting until I had confirmation of my extension, or the increase in allowances that we keep hearing rumours of, before I ordered the lens I want, but I’m suddenly finding it very hard to not go ahead and order the damn thing anyway. I should find out if I’ll be able to afford it sometime in the next few weeks at least, & I should be able to resist the temptation till then lol

Anyway, I think I’m going to end this off for now & see if I can’t find an internet connection so that I can upload it. Being a Friday, the one here at the base shouldn’t be too busy, but failing that there’s always the net café around the corner. I’ll likely only get to that in the morning though – I’m for an early night tonight, as I’ve been overdoing it on the Chinese & beer the last few days, & the liver is starting to complain lol

Cheers for now though ;)

Ho ho ho…

December 29^th 2005, 1010B

It’s been awhile since I last updated this, & in all likelihood this is only going to be a short entry as I can’t say that I have much of anything to put down here.

Then again, times I’ve said that before I’ve ended up typing up a 4 page behemoth of a post, so I guess we’ll see.

Christmas has come and gone, and we’re almost into the New Year. I hope everyone reading this has had enjoyed their festive season so far, and has a great time on New Year. I imagine that there’ll be a number of parties going on, with sore heads to follow the next morning, but I hope everyone has fun, & I’m looking forward to seeing the photos that I’m sure will be taken.

I’d like to say thanks again to everyone who sent messages on Christmas, & I really appreciate that pretty much all my friends took the time to send at least one. Shirlz in particular tried really hard to get through on the phone, but the cell provider here decided to be uncooperative, & I could neither receive, nor make, calls at all on the day. I guess the network was congested, though sms evidently worked fine, but I really appreciate that she kept trying.

Christmas this side was a brief and quiet affair for the most part, which I’m grateful for as I’m really not into the whole Christmas spirit thing. It’s rarely a good time of year for me – last year, spent with Ash & her family, was a pleasant exception though – and this year even less so than the norm, given my work-related frustration & bitterness right now. There’s a line from a Kevin Bloody Wilson song which does a fair job of summing up how the last few weeks have been overall : “Ho ho fucking ho, what a crock of shit”.

Probably the biggest contribution to my “off” frame of mind at the moment though is that the mefliam has also been giving me a hard time of it again the last few weeks. Everything else I would likely have just laughed off, but the ugly mood swings on top of the rest have made it really hard to maintain a sense of perspective, and I’m really looking forward to when I no longer have to take them.

But enough of that. Like I say, it was a quiet Christmas here, & it was only from around the 23^rd that there was any real sign that anyone here was paying attention to the date – all of a sudden a small tree & a few decorations were put up, & everyone with a radio started playing Christmas carols, incessantly and at full volume. The carols, however, were an especially painful form of torture for me, & I breathed an immense sigh of relief when the routine returned to normal on the 26^th – if I ever hear Boney M, or that bloody “Candle in the Wind” by Elton John again, I’m going to go fucking postal because that’s all the music anyone played for 3 days. I cannot begin to describe how heartily sick of hearing them I am.

New Year is also likely to be a quiet affair. I’ll be back in the capital on the 31^st – we’re being relieved a day early so that we don’t end up working both Christmas & New Year – and there’s a party planned at the base for the night, but I seriously doubt that I’ll be bothering. I’ll see how I feel on the day, but chances are that when I get back to the base on Saturday afternoon all I’m going to be interested in doing is getting my washing done, making a few calls, and then popping a few sleeping tabs so that I can sleep through the noise.

But, as I said earlier, I hope everyone reading this has a great time on the evening, & all the best for the year ahead.

And on that note, that’s about it for now. Again, I hope everyone has been having a great festive season, & I’m really looking forward to seeing my friends again sometime in the not too distant future. As soon as I have an idea as to when, & for how long, I’ll let everyone know.

Ciao till then though.

“Do not go gentle…”

December 19^th 2005, 1820B

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Dylan Thomas

Some old hurts never really fade, not completely anyway. You put them away & forget about them for the most part, but sometimes you just can’t help revisiting them, even long after you realise that it really isn’t smart to do it.

Cheers, Old Man. I guess I’ll see you around some day.