“Insomnia & the Hole in the Universe…”

August 25th 2005, 0315B

Whenever I think of something to call these posts, I usually try to come up with a song title or lyric that fits, & failing that I suck something out of my thumb. For this one at least, the first part of the title – it’s a song by Live, by the way - is eminently suitable as I’ve been awake for must be going on an hour now & have given up on going back to sleep. The “Hole in the Universe” part I’m not too sure of, but the “Insomnia” bit certainly meets the requirements.

It’s been a funny few days since I last typed anything for this, & I can’t quite make up my mind how I should feel about them. I know that being awake right now is not conducive towards a cheerful disposition - regardless of the amount of coffee I drink, or cigarettes I smoke, I am not a happy person in the mornings. It comes from not waking up next to Kate Beckinsale, is my best guess.
This insomnia is weird, especially considering that I’m taking sleeping tablets for it, & have been doing for 2 weeks now. Usually the immovaine sorts me out inside 3 days, tops, & I can stop taking them, but this time I’ve taken them for two solid weeks & I’m still not sleeping properly. I’m sleeping better than I did before I started, but I’m only getting 5-6 hours kip a night lately & it’s the rare morning I’m not awake at around 0300 – 0400. I’ve always been something of an early riser, and it used to drive Ash nuts that I was up & about before 0700 on a Sunday, but this is getting out of hand now. Something else to blame on the mefliam, perhaps? I guess that there could well be an interaction between the two that reduces the efficiency of the immovaine, but the insomnia is a known side-effect of the mefliam, & immovaine is the drug of choice to treat it. If there was an interaction which made the immovaine ineffective then you’d think they’d prescribe something else.
It’s more of an irritation than anything & I can manage happily on 6 hours sleep a night, but I’ll chat with the doc about it the next time I go into Bujumbura.

So far as the rest of the week has gone, it’s could have been better but my sense of humour has survived relatively intact at least.
I went into Bujumbura on Monday, again to collect that cash in hand allowance I’ve spoken about, & once again it turned out to be a fools errand. Evidently the money was re-deposited into the holding account when I didn’t collect it on Friday, & there’s a chance I’m never going to see it now.
You know, I’m not even too aggravated about not getting the money. It is annoying to be sure, but it’s hardly enough to be worth getting upset over & there’s still a small chance that I can get it next month, but I’m not going to hold my breath.
What I do resent and find offensive about this is the stupid & unnecessary waste involved, of my time & your tax money. Stupid, unnecessary, & easily preventable waste. It costs a shit load of money – how much do you think it takes in diesel & running costs to move an 18 ton armoured vehicle? – for me to travel to the capital & back from here, and all it would have taken was a simple fucking phone call, on an internal line at no cost, to find out it wasn’t necessary. I can’t give you the exact cost, but I can guarantee it was far greater than the stupid $40 I was supposed to receive. And I’ve done this trip twice now, to no result. And that, ladies & gentlemen, was your tax money being pissed away because of poor management. And that’s on top of the 5 hours it takes me to drive there & back. Actually, the time involved is a minor consideration for me, as these otherwise pointless trips meant that I got out of the base for awhile, the scenery changed a bit, & I had the chance to make a few phone calls and so on. But I can’t help but think you didn’t get your moneys’ worth out of me on either of those days.
Something else that’s starting to really get on my tits is the “gimme, gimme” attitude I see in so many of the locals as I drive along the roads. Every second one it seems stands there, hand thrust out with an expression on their face that has very little to do with asking & a lot to do with demanding. Well, fuck ‘em. I’m already here, not by what I could describe as choice, a long way from home, from my friends & family, from my responsibilities, from my life, for the next 5 months at least. And these ill-mannered bastards want the little money I have in my pocket to go along with that? And don’t even have the courtesy to ask me nicely? I don’t bloody think so.
This is a poor country, & it’s hard some really hard breaks, so I fully believe in and support the mission we are here to carry out. I will do the job I am here to do to the best of my ability, & will hopefully in some small way contribute towards this getting country back on its own two feet again. This I will do as a South African soldier, as directed by those in lawful authority over me. As an individual I, Ian Sankey, will give these people nothing more than they already have of me, particularly when I have already paid a significant personal price to be here in the first place. And certainly not if they don’t ask me very nicely. Rude bastards.

Actually, don’t mind me. It’s just early & I’m cranky because I’ve not yet reached the requisite blood levels for caffeine or nicotine, and despite my sometimes… “uncomplicated” demeanour I actually set great store by manners.
In terms of getting things right while I was in town, I did get to speak to the incoming Medical Task Group Commander, a Lt Col Paul Munday. I’ve met him a few times in over the last few years, & I know he’s a decent guy & a pretty sharp officer so I’m looking forward to working with him. I got chance to speak with him about staying with the UN mission rather than moving across to the AU side of things when I eventually return to Bujumbura, & he seemed receptive enough to the idea. It’s not his decision to make though unfortunately, but he at least knows now & can pass that along to the people who do make the call. If this works out as I’d like it’ll mean that I’ll be out in the bushes for two weeks at a time, away from my means of communication with everyone at home, but as I’ve said previously I think I’ll survive this deployment a lot better if I don’t stay in Bujumbura the whole time. The colonel also had a rather disturbing rumour to pass along, a very likely sounding rumour, which is the main reason for my uncertain mood at the moment, but I’m going to wait awhile & see what happens before I say anything more about that. It’s one of those “good news, bad news” kind of things, & it’s going to be interesting to see what comes of it.

Speaking of communication with home, the phone was operating at its usual high standard of efficiency, so I didn’t get to speak with too many people, just Rob & Ash this time. If you’ve not heard from me much, or at all since I got here, please don’t think it’s because I’ve not tried, ok? :P
Rob I mainly got in touch with so that he could do my banking & some shopping for me – mostly stuff like toiletries, a new pair of plakkies, & a new camera / laptop bag – and the line was crap so we didn’t really get to chat. The call I made to Ash went well, at least in being able to hear each other, but it sounds like she’s not having a whole lot of fun right now, & I really hope that changes for her soon.
One person I didn’t get to speak to was my old lady, & that’s something I need to remedy soon. I’ve only spoken to her once since I got here, & I know she’s not going to be happy about that. I’m hardly what you could describe as being “family oriented”, but I’m sure she’d appreciate hearing from me every now & again. I’d give her the link to this blog so that she could keep up to date, only she’s about as computer literate as a dead seagull, & I probably swear too much for her peace of mind anyway :P Then again, that’s just how she knows me & I guess my sister could help her with the computer side of things. Assuming I can ever get this off the hard drive & onto the net that is, seeing as the internet link was down in Bujumbura when I was there, so I didn’t get to check my mail or update the blog. I’ve got something like 8 A4 pages worth of updates typed up as of now, & I don’t know when next I’ll get to a net connection so the next update is likely going to be a big bastard :P

Getting a local sim card for my mobile would make keeping in touch a lot easier I’ll admit, but I never seem to get chance to buy one on the days I go into town. One of the nursing sisters I got to know said that I could have hers when she left, but I didn’t get to see her for her to let me have it before she left to go home, which is a pity.

Anyway, I’m starting to feel a little droopy-eyed again, & I’m hoping I’ll be able to get a little more sleep this morning still so I’m back off to bed.

I’ll catch up with you all again soon ;)