“Don’t Tread On Me….”

October 15th 2005, 0650B

I don’t know, but maybe I should just go back to bed after roll call at 0800. It’s likely to be safer, or at least more pleasant for those around me, because my mood is not exactly “friendly” this morning. I imagine the mefliam is fucking with my happy thoughts again, and I woke up feeling pretty down. And also very… “twitchy” is about the best way to describe it that I can think of. I used to get like this after the rough days in the townships, back in the 90’s, when I’d had about as much of people shooting at me as I was inclined to put up with. The anger & aggression are bubbling very close to the surface this morning, I’m seriously jumpy, & there’s a good chance that startling me right now would provoke an… unpleasant reaction.
I’m a regular bear with a sore tooth this morning, grumpy and inclined to bite, & I fucking hate it when I get like this. The real kicker is that I have no particular reason to feel like this – it’s not as though anyone has done anything to piss me off this badly the last few days. In fact, I should feel quite the opposite, as the last few days have gone quite well. Bujumbura is shit, and my opinion of the town and its inhabitants is unlikely to ever change, but while I’ve been here this last week work has been interesting & kept me busy, & I’ve had comparatively excellent comms with everyone at home. I really should not be in the kind of mood where wanting to boil people in oil when they say “good morning” seems an appropriate response.

But enough of my borderline sociopathic tendencies. I going to try to improve my mood with a little retail therapy – there’s a 60gb Photo I-Pod that has my name all over it, providing I can find somewhere that has bloody stock that is – but failing that, there’s always the old standby of beer. Other than that, I’m likely to spend the day reading through the blogs I saved to the flash disk last night, & then typing up replies to a few emails I’ve received over the last few days. I hope you all have a grand weekend, & I’ll catch up again soon.

Cheers for now.